yesterday

not really a kool day. went to IPBA and UiTM Shah Alam met the TESL assasians there. meeting the TESL students in UiTM Shah Alam was nice. they are some kind of friendly and so damn good english they're using.

well, nothin really interesting, until the short hour spending time at the Sunway Pyramid. It was fun, together with my best buddies in uitm; naz, syaz, aizat, maryam, dila, miejah, bell, noreen and mirah. feel just like reunite again just like the first sem, with the accompaniment of all dla, miejah and naz together. kool. had a pretty nice moments, although it just too short. guys, its good to have our group back. naz! im right eh ?? haha. let bygones be bygones.

to dauh, hey thanks for the post, just dumped into the page, 'follow' clicking and read the new post. i thought only me just felt that way, so do you. the post means a lot to me, so do the photos. remind me the sweetest memories i had before joining this 2nd sem. yesterdays were better.

" good girls gone bad, friends killing on each other and more "

the 4th line of dauh's post.

thats so true. so damn true. the second sentence after the comma, thats jumps onto my face right now. kool eh ?

thanks a lot to the pretenders and the back talkers. have a smile on your day.

what if

what if..

someone finds myself been killed in 2 days later?

what if i face an accident in a day later ?

what if i lost all my friends in less than a day ?
what if something happen to my family in 30 minutes later ?

what if my mom's condition is becoming worst in 15 minutes later?

one thing for sure : no one cares. except me, myself.

yeah, anything bad can even happen to anyone in any single moment. as the 'says' goes, anything uttered by you is a pray. and yeah, i don't want any bad things ever happen to my family, and my mom the most important. but no one can even fight the force of nature that have been decided by the One at the "Luh Mah Fuz". BUT things can change. He is not that evil that lets His beloved people suffer. anything fated still can be changed. everything can change by just a simple pray and of course with effort. be strong. =)

but

what if.. i can know if people behaving fake towards me ?

what if.. i say im able to know if people say bad things about me although i didnt hear it with my ears ?

if anything happens, comes with reasons, means ones did a thing also accompanied with reasons. if that happens to anyone, theres comes with reasons. just that, to me if someone ever said something bad behind my back, planning something bad behind my back it is really dire to me. just a line lingered in my mind, "am i that bad to be threatened like that?"

yeah i might say sometimes i do that too. but thats really 'sometimes' and when it hurts me so much. i just always put myself in the person's shoe if that happens to me, then i just let it go. unless it continuously hurting me, i might express my feelings ONLY to the persons i close with. i still wont spread the thing to the whole world so people will know the story. i might think of others too much rather than me myself ?

its easy to forgive. as easy as ABC. so do ask for an apology. uhm, but do people know if someone apologies to someone without mentioning about what they were doing, the conditions are just still the same? that just what i knew, that is what i learned and that is what i hold. sometimes we hardly understand people, sometimes people hardly understand us. but most of the times, people hardly to understand me. and normally, most of the times people talks bad about me. kool heh ?

i dont know why did i write this here. just feels to type this as something happens to jump onto my face again, and just the same feelings i feel as i felt before. just a thing i bear in mind, theres must be something i might seem bad in people's eye. but i dont think it is fair enough to punish a person by doing things without the person knows what does he did wrong. im not a good friend right ? thats the reasons why they chose to do that eh ? i might be a dreadful person. im sorry.

and again, something im not sure... do my mom think i am an awful son ? i am not a good child after while.

what if..

i die in my sleep tonight. will people remember me as a fine boy ? or yet an awful person..?

i think i know the answer. thank you people.

i'm sorry

Hey Dad look at me

Think back and talk to me

Did I grow up according

To plan?

Do you think Im wasting

My time doing things I

Wanna do?

But it hurts when you

Disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it

I just want to make you proud

Im never gonna be good

Enough for you

I cant pretend that

Im alright

And you cant change me

Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

Now its just too late

And we cant go back

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

I try not to think

About the pain I feel inside

Did you know you used to be

My hero?

All the days

You spent with me

Now seem so far away

And it feels like you dont

Care anymore

And now I try hard to make it

I just want to make you proud

Im never gonna be good

Enough for you

I cant stand another fight

And nothing alright

Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

Now its just too late

And we cant go back

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

Nothings gonna change

The things that you said

Nothings gonna make this

Right again

Please dont turn your back

I cant believe its hard

Just to talk to you

But you dont understand

Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

Now its just too late

And we cant go back

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

Cuz we lost it all

Nothing lasts forever

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

Now its just too late

And we cant go back

Im sorry

I cant be Perfect

nothin

dont know what to write about.

just too many things in my head.

thanks for spending some time.

and the most important thing,

thanks a lot to you,

green-wrapped vanilla icecream. =)